Technik in Handling People

07/16/2004

Vakra thunda Mahaa kaaya Soorya koti sama prabha
Nirvighnam kurumeh Deva Sarwa kaaryeshu sarwadhaa

(Oh Lord ! The One with a curved trunk, and a huge body, shining resplendant
with a dazzle of a million Suns ! In all our endeavours at all times, kindly ever
protect us from all obstacles and interruptions )
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Hello Everybody ! Sukravaaram Suprabhaath !

Last week we had some glimpses into some aspects of inter-personal
relationships from certain angles. The subject is so vast (as human natures and
behaviours are so divergent and complex) that there are always some new
angles from which it can be viewed. Today we will deal with another approach
by way of 'Technique in handling people'. Here I am tempted strongly to
transmit some expert views and counsels on this topic, thru some excerpts from
a book of same title by the reputed author Donald C. Laird, as I felt I can do
no better :

" Just ask questions so that others do most of the talking. Do not pry into
personal affairs. Do not ask questions unless you are pretty certain the person
addressed can answer them. Do not ask questions that seem to cross-examine.
Do not ask in an antagonising way; make it a friendly conversation. Do not ask
questions to show off yourself. Ask people for their opinions to help their self-
confidence. Ask for favours to arouse their cooperativeness. When needed,
try giving orders in the form of questions to keep cooperation. - - - - - -
When a situation is tense, just listen. When someone is angry, be brief; let him
talk. - - - - Confidence is a good medicine. Act as if it were impossible to fail. Be
direct to reach people's minds. Charm comes not from being superior to others
but in being deeply interested in them. Treat your men the way you expect
them to treat you. - - - - Sincerity is the greatest force in the world. It shines
in the eye and lends strength to the voice. - - - - Friendliness is catching.
A friendly manner gets attention and cooperation beyond all purchase.
Friendliness overcomes opposition. - - - - There is no leadership without earnest-
ness. Be earnest to arouse enthusiasm. Leadership involves remembering past
mistakes, an analysis of the present day's achievements, and a well-grounded
imagination in visualising the problems of the future. - - - - Abilities wither under
fault-finding, and blossom under encouragement. There are people who have
the frightful habit of finding fault with themselves most of the time. They keep
themselves at the bottom of the line. Thousands have ceased to try to do their
best because they have been told only of their worst !

The most priceless gift you can give anyone is encouragement. Increase
others self-esteem to cultivate loyalty. Know your people to generate harmony.
If you want to learn how interesting people are, just get acquainted with them.

A boss must criticise the subordinate as follows:
1. Criticise in private, and never in the presence of others.
2. Do it with a smile, in a friendly manner.
3. Give some praise first, to take off the sting.
4. Approach thru the person's self-interest, that it will make it easier for him,
not make more money for the company.
5. Make it constructive; show 'how', don't merely find fault.
6. And end up with another bit of praise, and a pat on the back.
A pat on the back often eliminates the need for a kick in the pants!

The Eleven Rules for handling people, are :

1. Ask questions 2. Be brief
3. Confident bearing 4. Directiveness
5. Earnestness 6. Friendliness
7. Good-finding 8. Harness criticism
9. Increase other's self-esteem
10. Jingle praise 11. Know your people "

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Thus are covered some more aspects of guidance in inter-personal
relationships. The tips conveyed above, as also in the previous Fri-Call,
are intended to lubricate the mechanisms of social-interaction, conversation
and communication, as also official dealings, in order to ensure a congenial
social atmosphere. If everyone follows these guidelines, it would be superb.